Trapped By Dobermans

This post is dedicated to my dear Doberman girl, Pallas Athena.  She died yesterday in the early morning.  And yes, I am crying as I write this because she was a fine dog with unlimited gentleness and joy inside of her, and childlike I just want her to come back.  She is buried out back in the place where the grass greens up first, because there she most loved to rub her snout in the grass, then lay on her back and stick all of her feet into the air and squirm.  Not rolling though, squirming around, which is a damn delightful thing to see.  It always made me think of Charlie Brown’s dog, Snoopy, doing his spring dance.

My dog Zeus, her constant companion since I adopted her, is suffering sadness now.  He knows she is gone, we had him visit her body twice before we buried her.  This is an exceptionally intelligent breed-which is how I became trapped by Dobermans to begin with- and after visiting her, and being told, “Palli is all gone”, he knows.  To see him sniff at her rug, and then lay down on it, and looking for all the world like he was “keeping her place for her”, busted me all up.  I went over to him, knelt down and quietly told him again that she was “all gone”.  He laid there for a few minutes longer, staring straight ahead, then went and got on the love seat and stared out of the window.  All he will do now is stare out of the window or sit on top of me and look lonely as hell.  I know how he feels.

She came to me through a Doberman Rescue.  She had been placed  there by a county group who had done a raid on a puppy mill and found her there.  She was the only Doberman in that hell, and it was thought that she had not been there more than a month at most because she was still in reasonable decent body condition.  They suspect that she was stolen by the owners of the puppy mill by promising the legal owners that they would take her off to be bred with their stud.  The puppy mill people had an operation in NY and one in FL.  It was suspected that they scammed a dog off someone in FL, bringing that dog to the NY mill, then scam some dogs off of owners in NY, drop them off in the FL mill.  That was where she was found, in a very small cage in the NY mill.

It took me three months to get the two dogs accustomed to each other.  He was a tough ass dog back in them days,  I kept them in two separate homes-I spent the nights at one home with the dog, and my son kept Pallas at the  other home.  During the day, I would bring the dog over and slowly trained him to accept her into his life.  Then they were inseparable.  They HAD to be together, or he would stress terribly.  They were remarkably close and loving towards each other, and she had broken his walls down and taught him how to be part of a pack.

She was such a gentle, loving animal.  She was elegant and pretty-everyone always fussed over her so much-which she both enjoyed and insisted upon.  She was quietly bossy, that one.

It is not “right” filling only one bowl, it’s not “right” grabbing only one leash, it’s not “right” that I’m only walking one dog to the run and that he sits there forlornly waiting all alone.

And, childlike, I just want her to come back.

DOBERMAN – PALLAS ATHENA – 2000 (?) – 03/27/2010

Goodbye my Pallerina.


~ by ladysforest on March 28, 2010.

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